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Choices, chances, change


 Life is full of so many choices. There could be many "right" choices and even the "wrong" ones can be made "right" by the way you react and respond to them.
Something I have learned about my melancholy personality (based on Personality Plus by Maria Littauer) is that the melancholy personality labors over each decision. Not because we don't know what we want, but because we are afraid of making the wrong decision. Because to the "perfect" melancholy, everything should be just that: perfect.
I fully believe in living and making decisions based on faith and NOT fear. I also know that God can redeem any foolish decision we do happen to make. So that should ease my mind, right? 

I face this dilemma now because I sense that I am at a crossroads in life. For the first time in over 10 years I am completely unemployed. I have applied to various jobs and received a couple of interviews.

A note on something I have learned, but no one really told me. Two things actually 1) A college degree, a $30,000+ income does not guarantee. I've never made even very close to that in my 7 years post graduation. My highschool educated husband makes and has typically made much more than me. For which I am very grateful. 
2) The career path in which you begin upon graduation, is the foundation and building block for your future career. Had I realized this and not been so desperate to be employed ANYwhere, I might not have continued to pursue jobs in early childhood education, since that was not my intended field of choice.

However, having said all of that, I know that God has used every experience for my own personal growth. I have met a lot of amazing people and learned a lot of valuable lessons.

So now, at this aforementioned "crossroads" of my life, I find myself getting a chance at a fresh start. I am also pregnant with our first child and that flavors every decision I think about making. I don't see it as a limitation necassarily, but rather just another life to consider. My decisions hold even more significance (holy moly for the perfect melancholy! Just what we need, more pressure than we've already put on ourselves!). 
I trust that God will bring guidance and light to the situation as I diligently seek him. And whatever the outcome, whatever the choices, I will rest in his omnipotence to overcome any "wrong" choice I might make.

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